Sleepless Nights

Posts have been few and far between on this little ol' blog lately. I'm sorry for that. To be truthful, I've just been too exhausted to contemplate writing. And, no, it's not pregnancy induced exhaustion (to stave off all those well-meaning but totally wrong comments.) The exhaustion? It stems from Giuliana's new nighttime pass time. Namely, running into our room two or three times a night between the hours of 2-4am for a little snuggle, a little chatter, a whole lot of wiggling and bed hogging. Toddler Sleep Regression. If it's not a real thing, I'm making it up and labeling it that anyway. It's real enough in our house.

It all began with her recent illness. We spent a lot of time curled up on Mommy and Daddy's bed, wrapping ourselves in the comforting accouterments of blankie, "nice piw-whoa" (her warmed up corn pillow to ease her aching ears), a sippy of orange juice or perhaps "cha-co-late milk", with Dora and Boots adventuring with pirates and super spies on DVD. If you are two, this is as good as it gets, apparently. I cuddled with her sweaty little body, warm pillow on my chest, her head on top of it, soothing her pain with whatever made her happy. And of course, most nights she either started or ended the night ensconced in the safety and comfort of our bed as I monitored her fevers and dosed her with all those medications at every un-Godly hour.

Now, she's all better. Much to her chagrin, I think. She has, since infancy, toted her Nana-made Blankie around with her wherever she goes. Now it is accompanied with Nice Pillow, her new best friend. She requests it at bed time, of course, and naptime (so we have to make sure it makes the trip to Grandma's house every day.) She wants it warmed and waiting for her during her TV time in the evening. And she drags it with her when she sneaks into our room in the wee small hours, Blankie clutched firmly in one hand, Nice Pillow in the other.

The dog is the first to hear her. Like an alarm bell, he jumps up from his position in the hall, long tail excitedly whacking back and forth between the walls, smacking doors and generally creating both a noisy racket and a gauntlet for G to wend through. She makes it, maybe suffering a few painful whips of the dog's tail to her face, and runs up to my side of the bed (lucky me, I sleep right next to the door.)

"Mommy! Mommydaddy bed, peeeeeeeeeeas? Mommydaddy bed!" She climbs up, blankie, nice pillow and all, usually kissing me and snuggling her head under my chin while she croons "Mommy, mommy" in a sweet little voice that makes it impossible for me to return her immediately to her bed. She knows my weak spots. I tell her it's still bed time. She can snuggle for a few minutes, but then she has to go back to bed. I tell her it's time to be quiet and go back to sleep. She buries herself between John and I, usually anything but quietly, making sure her blankie made the climb over my body with her, and telling me where she wants nice pillow positioned. Some nights I'm lucky and she falls right back to sleep. Most nights, though, she's chatty and wiggly.

"Giuliana, shush. It's bedtime. You need to be quiet."

"Oh, yeah. Sorry. Shhhhh."

Then she spends the next several minutes alternating between shushing herself and, if she can't contain it, whispering her chatter, eventually getting louder until I quiet her down again. After five or ten minutes of this I gather her up and tell her, "Ok, it's time to go back to bed now. It's still nighttime, you need to go back to sleep."

Generally she goes fairly willingly, often requesting some milk along the way. I have caved on that request a few times, usually after the second or third trek back to her bed with her. But mostly I try not to give in to this plea. I'm not entirely dumb. I don't want this nightly habit to escalate into a full-blown intricate routine that has me running all over the house at 3am every night. Sometimes, if she's really awake, I open one of her curtains so a little moonlight spills across her bed and tell her she can look at one of her books until she falls asleep. Eventually she succumbs and spends the rest of the night in her own bed, and I'm left to toss and turn as I try to do the same. Somehow, most of this entire scene is accompanied by the soundtrack of my husband snoring away blissfully unaware. Hrmph. What is it about the male genome that allows them to sleep through the squalls, cries, whispers, even wiggles of their offspring while we mothers wake up to the softest sneeze 30 feet away in another room?

So, dear readers, Kami is a tired mommy these days. You will forgive me for not keeping up with you all for a few weeks, yes? Thank you.

Reflections

My little family has survived another week.

That's about the only way to sum up our crazy life lately.

I went to work 14 hours this week. Giuliana had both pneumonia and a severely acute (no, that's not redundant or hyperbole) double ear infection. John had electrical devices implanted in his back. I've taken to providing a sound track for him every time he moves: "na-na-na-na-naaa," ala The Bionic Man. (Google it, I'm old. I know this.)

So, what, you might ask, is life like with an acutely sick toddler? Oh, let me tell you. For one, I am on Nick Jr. OVERLOAD! She hasn't had much energy for playing, so the TV has been on pretty much constantly. I couldn't take it anymore and called for TV-Free Day today. I got my wish for the most part, with a concession to my headache. I let her watch Sesame St. On Demand while I napped on the couch. Also, for two, the whining? It has hit all new levels. A two year old with a fever and a constantly painful earache is rarely happy. And lets you know it. She screamed at me because she wanted to do everything herself. Then she screamed at me because I wasn't helping. Then she screamed at me when I tried to help. Lather, rinse, repeat. For 2 WEEKS. For three, remembering to dose this child with Tylenol every 4 hours for her fever, Motrin every 6 hours for her pain, 2 different antibiotics every evening, homeopathic ear drops, fill her sippy cup with juice on demand (which felt like every 5 minutes) and heat her "nice pillow" (one of those microwavable corn pads) for her ears every 10 minutes just flat out wore me down.

But all of that pales in comparison to having to hold your daughter down three days in a row while she sobs and pleads with you as the nurses puncture both of her little thighs with a painful dose of antibiotics. Or lying in bed with her fevery little body smooshed up against yours, sweaty and shivery, as she thrashes back and forth in pain you really can't do anything about. Or the terror that grips your heart when you pull the thermometer out and read the temperature- 104.5. That can't possibly be right, can it? Strip her down to her diaper, give her cool juice. Sit and sing and pretend you're not freaking out. Coax her into a bath and lean over the edge and hug her while she cries and shivers and grips you tightly and generally breaks every inch of your heart. Or making the decision to allow the doctors to place your precious child under anesthesia and lance her eardrums.

Yeah. Those. Those are not good times. Especially when those things coincide with your husband traveling 400 miles round-trip to have surgery on his back and have electrical leads places on his spine. A trip you were supposed to take with him, to help him, to talk to the doctor and get the straight story. A trip you ended up having to skip and trust his father to get the straight story while you sat at work for 8 of those 14 hours worrying and fretting.

But, we all made it through a very long and unenjoyable week. John and his dad drove down to Manhattan early Thursday morning and made it back by 12:30 Friday morning with wires running from the middle of his back to a device he carries in his pocket. He dragged himself out of bed again at 5:30 AM so we could take Giuliana to the hospital for her surgery. And today, we've all caught up on our sleep, no one had a fever, medication regimens were much less stringent, and Thank God the TV was off. The whining subsided throughout the day, there were more giggles and less tears. Next week. There is hope for next week to be much better than this week.

****************

I thought I was finished with this post. I sat back and re-read it. And a horrible thought occurred to me. My little family survived another week. There are many families that didn't survive this week. They weren't anticipating not seeing each ever again. They didn't get to comfort each other. Some didn't even get to worry and fret over each other.

My little family survived another week. For that, I am blessed. For that, I am grateful. For that, I'll take what life hands me. Just as long as we all survive another week. Together.

...and how was YOUR weekend, Kami?

It's 8:20pm on a lovely Sunday evening and everyone in my house is asleep. Except me, obviously. But I am headed there quite shortly. You see, we have all been stricken with The Seasonal Cold Bug of Exhaustion and Snot.

I'm afraid I am most likely the offender that bought this Bug into our home. I began feeling a little achy and stuffy on Tuesday. By Wednesday evening I was in full-blown Head Full of Snot mode and John was already coughing up one or both of his lungs. He was smart enough to stay home from work on Thursday and rest. Not I. No, not I. I was "feeling better" and didn't want to waste sick time. So, I trudged off and have been paying for it all weekend.

Giuliana began with the Snotty Nose of Doom (trust me, 23 month old with a snotty nose=Doom, everytime) on Friday. Yesterday and today....have not been pleasant. And this afternoon I received a phone call from my mother. Uh oh! The Seasonal Cold Bug of Exhaustion and Snot has invaded their house! (Thanks to my carting my infected daughter over there on Friday. You're welcome, Mom!) I suppose I should have known this was going to happen when I woke up to hear her say "Daddy, tissue p'ees!" on Friday morning. How cute! I thought, till I went into her room to find that snot had completely obliterated her face! G-R-O-S-S! And, umm...still, I did not want to waste sick days. Hey, she was perky and in a great mood! How was I to know what was in store?!

This weekend has been: No sleep to speak of due to sharing my bed with a kicky, squirmy, angry little girl (she was even yelling at me in her sleep!) Loads of tissues. Indignent and whiney cries of "Daddy do dat!!" whenever I come near her with a tissue or try to fill her sippy cup or help her wash her hands or give her some ibuprophen or breathe. A pathetic looking child with red, runny eyes, blotchy skin, constantly flowing nose, and a raspy congested cough. But no fever, Hallalujah!

I snuck out of the house for a brief respite on Saturday to make a run to Target. I absolutely had to get invitations for G's birthday party, you see. To send out in a week or so. Had to. I also really did have to get G some snow boots, even thought it was 60 degrees outside. I needed to pick up a few stocking stuffers. They were good deals. And diapers! Oh, that's right! I needed diapers. See, I had to go. I felt like I was going to die after about an hour, and I'm sure my fellow shoppers were all so very thrilled that I shared my contagions with them (really, I can't still be contagious, right?! I've been sick for 5 days!) But, I did find a very cute pair of dangly black earrings for A BUCK! So, it was totally worth it.

Today, I woke up at 5:30am feeling like someone had poured sand and glass down my throat and filled my head with cotton and walked all over my back with soil areators and then jumped on me a few dozen times. I decided to give in and didn't even shower. And now, I am following suit with the rest of my family and going to bed.

So, it's 8:20pm on a lovely Sunday evening and I have already called in sick to work for Monday. So much for saving those sick days.

Here I Am

Hi folks,

Just thought I'd stop by the ol' blog and say "Hi! I'm alive!" Hey, who keeps this thing up, anyway? It is looking pretty bare these days!
What's that? Oh! It's me?!? You mean this thing doesn't just update itself? Well, that sucks. Can I get someone to do it for me? No? Hmmmm.
Well, sometime between taking care of a recovering baby, going to a gazillion doctor's appointments, actually going to work (I know! geez!), cleaning my house, weed-wacking my yard (there's an update! I've finally convinced John that we really, truly do need to own a weed-wacker!! We're buying one this week!), helping my husband get ready to go back to work on Monday (oo! oo! another update!), grocery shopping, staying on top of all the piles of dog hair that infest my floors, getting another pedicure with Kate (yes, Kate! I hear you! we do need to do this soon. Rose and my MIL want in, too) spending 5 minutes with my husband, and uh, sleeping...I'll try to whip up an interesting, maybe even scintillating post. I know you will be excited.

Miss you!
Kami
xoxoxo

Hell Hath No Fury

Have you ever tried to have a coherent, meaningful conversation with a doctor while there is a screaming, crying, red-faced wild child in your arms, hitting you in the face and arching her back so she almost falls on the floor? No? You really should try it. 3 times in one week, if you can. I totally recommend experiencing a 17 month old in all her might and fury all the while attempting to maintain your half of a rational conversation. And getting any useful medical advice out of it.

Not Mother of the Year

I'm feeling like a particularly crappy mother right about now, so I felt I needed to share it with you. My daughter came down with a fever overnight. She had been feeling a little listless in the late afternoon. I chalked it up to the heat and humidity. She hasn't wanted to eat much the last several days, ditto the heat. She has had some diarrhea the last several days...not sure why. So, last night: fever. It was really hot in her room, but I could tell this wasn't just the heat. I turned on the AC and gave her Tylenol. Checked on her a couple of hours later and she seemed cooler to the touch, though she was whining a lot in her sleep.
When I woke her up this morning she seemed like her normal self. I, as usual, was rushing to get out of the house to attempt to get to work somewhere near the time I'm supposed to be there. Got her to Grandma's with no worries. Then, about an hour later my mom called to say G had another fever, 102.2. She also gave Tylenol, but the fever didn't go down. I called the pediatrician, they are no help, just said to push fluids and give BRAT diet. No duh, people...WHY does she have a fever out of the blue? That is my question.

So, here's where I feel crappy Working-Mommy guilt. She's been at my mother's all day. She still has a fever, still not feeling like she wants to play or anything. And I'm sitting at work. I feel like I am neglecting her. I know she is in excellent, loving hands. My mom is taking good care of her. As a matter of fact, I just got off the phone with my mom and G is asleep in her arms right now. But she's not asleep in MY arms.

These are the days I ab-so-f*ing-lute-ly HATE working!

Passed Out

This is what the end of a long week looks like.

My family all stayed home today. John has been put on disability by his doctor for at least the next 4 weeks. Giuliana has had a yucky cold all week. I am both emotionally and physically drained. We all took a time out today. I did have to run to the grocery store for "a couple of things" ($53 worth?? how does that ALWAYS happen?!?) But other than that, we stayed in, watched tv, read books, and rested.
I wish I could say that we all took naps, but G can't breathe through her nose. Let me explain. She always has a bottle before her nap. She relaxes and usually falls asleep or is close to it by the end of the bottle. But, as we discovered, when she has a stuffed up nose, she can't take her bottle normally. She has to keep stopping to take a breath. Which is not relaxing at all. So....she never took a nap, dispite 3 attempts that ate up about 3 1/2 hours. Anyway...she was so tired that she took her bath an hour early and then, about half way through her bedtime bottle (more sip, sip, sip, breathe, sip, sip, sip, breathe), she just turned her head to the side and passed out. She was snoring before I could carry her over to the crib.
And now, I am going to take a bath and will probably then go to bed as well (sans bottle...well, at least milk bottle).
Caio, peeps.

Bloggy Block

3 posts away from 100 and I can't think of anything to write about! I have to get to #100 cause I have that post all planned out. This is how my poor mind works, people, sorry.

Some random things, just to pass your time (you're welcome :)

I started my new job yesterday. I don't have a computer yet in that office, so I was DYING!!! all day to get online. Man! I am A-D-D-I-C-T-E-D!! Oh, did I tell you the happy news? Because of our crappy NY governor and the so-huge-it-blows-my-brain-budget-deficit in NY, my new job is now only 20 hours a week instead of 40hrs like it was originally supposed to be. So, what, you might ask, am I doing for the other 20 hours a week? Well, luckily, I still have employment for those 20 hours. I am doing my old job for now. Half and half. How fun for me. I have 2 offices, 2 phone extensions, soon to be 2 computers, 2 bosses... and I get to split my time between them. What happened is that there has been a major budget cut proposed to the part of the NYS budget that funds my new position. So, if that budget cut goes through (it is retro-active for 2008 and proposed for 2009, the NYS 2009 budget doesn't start till April) then STIC doesn't have the money for a full-time position for me. Wonderful. So right now I am in limbo. Today, I am in my old office, doing my old job. Tomorrow, I get to split myself in half :)

Other news, we had a crappy weekend. Enough said about that.

Other, other news, the STEELERS WON! So, that is cool. But I wimped out due to said crappy weekend and went to bed during the 3rd quarter, so I missed the BEST SUPERBOWL ENDING EVER, EVEN BETTER THAN LAST YEAR! Boo.

And (I swear this was not meant to be a whiny post, I don't know what happened...) G has caught a cold. Poor thing, her little red nose is running all over the place. Due to scheduling difficulties she is having a sleep-over at Grandma and Grandpa's tonight, so, though I will miss her terribly and wish she was home, hopefully she will get some good rest today and tomorrow as she will not have to be rushed back and forth from house to house in the cold.

And that's about it, folks. I can't think of anything funny or witty to write about today because my brain is absolute mush. But slog through with me for 2 more posts and I promise #100 will be interesting. In the meantime, here is a funny video to reward you for making it all the way through this crappy post. Cheers!