Dirty Toes and Paint On My Elbows

Well, hello, blogland. How are ya? Sorry I’ve been MIA lately. Where have I been? Well, I’ve NOT been getting pregnant, for one. So, I’ve been using all that pent up energy that otherwise would have been spent obsessing over every pregnancy nuance to generally spruce up my home – inside and out.

You know about my kitchen. I’m still in love with all the white, though I practically live with a Magic Eraser in my hand, watching for any little mark or scuff on my pristine cabinetry. This weekend I completed a project that has been bugging me for…oh, about 3 years. We have one “accent wall” in the living room that is painted a lovely red. I painted it shortly after we bought the house. And shortly after that spots on the wall got scratched and nicked through to the white wall underneath. I got out my leftover paint and attempted to patch the damage, but somehow the paint had turned and the color was not the same. So ever since I have had these ugly patches of darker red on my beautiful red wall. Not attractive. So I finally bought a new gallon of the red and painted over the whole wall. Took me less than two hours. We’ll file that one under “Should have done this years ago…”

Another project that has been on my (so very long) list for years is our bathroom. Originally, the bathroom was the best room in the house…meaning the most recently re-done. It’s an ugly green, even the CEILING (ugh), but the fixtures are fairly new and compared to all the other rooms when we moved in, not a priority. Well I’ve finally made it through all the other rooms with my paintbrush (except the dining room, which we shall not talk about lest I get depressed) so it’s finally on to the bathroom to vanquish the ugly mint green and replace it with a deep, stately pine green. All the trim work will get a fresh coat of white paint and I’ll probably spring for new towels and shower curtain. Ah. I’m relaxing just thinking about it.

I’ve also been busy outside the house during these lovely, sunny days we’ve had. I’ve been freshening up the mulch in the front of the house and extending it around to the side bushes. (This is where the dirty toes comes in.) What a difference a few bags of mulch make! And cheap! My kind of home improvement. Yesterday we purchased a beautiful yellow forsythia bush (and one ladybug, as G pointed out) which I planted myself in the back yard (read, dug a big a** hole all by myself, go me.) I also filled in some random gopher holes in the yard. Next up, the annual spreading of the grass seed to try to repair the damage done by one dog and his urine. (Umm, gross, but this is my reality.)

Family has been consuming my time, too. Last week John and I made the trek to Manhattan for the day to see a couple of doctors and have a nice Indian lunch at this cute little place we found a few months ago on 1st and 74th. It was a beautiful, sunny day and traffic was incredibly light, even when we left the city at 4pm, so we drove with the windows down and the iTunes up. Not a bad day.

Giuliana has been spending most of her days outside. She’s following mommy’s lead and digging holes in the yard, but I’m trying to just be cool with it. She’ll only be little once, why not let her do her thing? Yesterday mommy and daddy took turns pushing her up and down the sidewalk on her new red trike, streamers flying in the breeze, giggles echoing down the street. Quintessential Suburban Americana and I love it. She’s been continuing with her tumbling class. Every week has been better than the last. She still has (many) “I do it myself” moments, but overall is listening much better. She has even taken part in the warm-up stretches, and this week she barely even glanced at the trampoline while she touched her toes and reached the sky. This is major progress.

So, that’s what I’ve been up to. I’ll try to catch up on my reader to see what YOU’VE been up too, because if I don’t my reader is likely to explode soon.

I'm Going Crazy

I’d forgotten (repressed?) just how truly horrible, no fun, insanity-inducing and nerve-wracking the “two week wait” is. Living under a magnifying glass and examining every real or completely imagined “symptom” 100 different ways. Googling random twinges and cravings to see if they may give you a hint. Working yourself up into a total state of hysteria convinced it finally happened and then ridiculing yourself for being a twit…way too soon to know, duh!

Or is it just me?

(Slightly Vague) Changes

Am I the only one who feels that Autumn always seems to be a season full of changes and growth? I've blogged about it before (exactly a year ago?...man, I'm becoming predictable!) Fall brings about a resumption of busy-ness, of getting back to routine. The crisp mornings and waning twilight always stir a homey feeling in me, a "nesting" sort of feeling that's in direct opposition to summery free-for-all. And that's a change. It always feels abrupt to me. Jarring in a way. This year, especially. We returned from the beach and were slapped with chilly winds and turning leaves before we even got our sandy beach toys out of the car. "Well, hello Autumn, I'm not sure I'm ready for you, but come on in."

One of the changes taking place this fall is in my family. The decision has been made. We've decided to add more snuggles, more giggles, more kisses and hugs. There (hopefully) will be more diapers and late night bottle sessions and bleary, chaotic mornings, too. No big announcement to make yet, it's a journey, this change. But I'll keep ya posted.

My career is going through a metamorphosis as well. Things are beginning to spin, faster and faster. I've been given the opportunity to take on some additional responsibilities that will send me out of town occasionally. Just to Albany. But the purpose is to "network" with other agencies around the state. Let's be kind and say that I'm not a natural "networker." This will be intimidating and a little awkward for me. But, it's all growth, right? Additionally, I will be leaving one aspect of my job behind and moving full-time into another. This is bitter-sweet for me. I've been in my current position for 5 1/2 years, working intimately with a few families and watching their kids grow. But I have been offered a bright future in the newer position and I must move forward. It's not a promotion, but it's a chance to expand my skills (like networking) and my prospects. How's that for vague? Sorry, that's all I feel I can say right now.

Of course, my daughter continues to change. It seems like the dictionary exploded at our house, lately. Everyday she comes up with new words, new inflections, sentences, questions and jokes. She's off and running, quite literally. All over the place. I can't keep track of her. She's everywhere, into everything, on top of everything. Learning at a frightening pace. This is a girl on the move, running headlong into her own bright future.


And last night offered me another opportunity for change. I've decided to hate the Buffalo Bills. Ok, not really. But they certainly tested my patience and devotion last night! Man! Take a knee, son! Stop giving games away! Ahhh, such is the life and agony of a Bills fan. It's gonna be a long season.

My Baby's Not A Baby Anymore...

...I think I'll have another.




Or not.



Still undecided over here. That's me. Lately, that old familiar feeling, that warm and some-what nausea inducing sensation has been setting in. Baby fever. I've diagnosed myself. I'd say I'm hovering somewhere around 101* or so. Not burning up. Not life-threatening. But noticeable. Enough that it gets in the way.

The other day I (unsuccessfully, it turns out...damn Twitter) twittered about the oh-so-cute-and-cuddly brand new baby that was haunting me at work. I was sitting innocently in a boring and some-what condescending uplifting staff meeting with BABY FEET sticking out, mocking my ovaries, not 10 feet away. How unfair is that?? BABY FEET! Who can resist? Especially when you have first hand knowledge of how soft, and tickley, and delicious (I can't say that...that's just gross...but you know it's true) sweet they are!

I used to have one of those little creatures. She looked like this:


(see...baby feet!) and a few days later she looked like this:


and NOW she looks like this: (with Daddy)


all Big Girl, and stuff. Oh, she's still mighty cute and kissable. I wouldn't trade her in or anything. No Way! But maybe just one more...

One more little warm bundle to snuggle up with all night. One more set of fresh new eyes to gaze into for hours and hours. One more pair sweet smelling feet to tickle (I swear I don't have a foot fetish.) 10 new little fingers to count and wonder over.

But that also means, well...one MORE. One more diaper to change every few hours. One more crying, needy being to tend to who can't tell me what's wrong. One more bottle to make at the most inconvenient time (4am). One more kid to give a bath to, feed, clothe, entertain, rock, get to sleep...all while already doing all of that with the first one.

This is what gives me pause. It's not that I find any of that a burden or undesirable. In fact, I crave to do all of that over again. It's exhausting. It's tedious at times. But it is so very worth every second of it. But it takes so. much. energy. and. commitment. And I already have someone who needs a lot of my energy, my commitment. My devotion just to her. She expects it, deserves it. Am I taking something away from her by giving some of myself to another child? I say "some" but it's really all of me. To both kids. How do I do that?

So, the debate rages on. Mostly inside my own head. And heart. Baby #2???