Or not.
Still undecided over here. That's me. Lately, that old familiar feeling, that warm and some-what nausea inducing sensation has been setting in. Baby fever. I've diagnosed myself. I'd say I'm hovering somewhere around 101* or so. Not burning up. Not life-threatening. But noticeable. Enough that it gets in the way.
The other day I (unsuccessfully, it turns out...damn Twitter) twittered about the oh-so-cute-and-cuddly brand new baby that was haunting me at work. I was sitting innocently in a boring and some-what
I used to have one of those little creatures. She looked like this:
(see...baby feet!) and a few days later she looked like this:
and NOW she looks like this: (with Daddy)
all Big Girl, and stuff. Oh, she's still mighty cute and kissable. I wouldn't trade her in or anything. No Way! But maybe just one more...
One more little warm bundle to snuggle up with all night. One more set of fresh new eyes to gaze into for hours and hours. One more pair sweet smelling feet to tickle (I swear I don't have a foot fetish.) 10 new little fingers to count and wonder over.
But that also means, well...one MORE. One more diaper to change every few hours. One more crying, needy being to tend to who can't tell me what's wrong. One more bottle to make at the most inconvenient time (4am). One more kid to give a bath to, feed, clothe, entertain, rock, get to sleep...all while already doing all of that with the first one.
This is what gives me pause. It's not that I find any of that a burden or undesirable. In fact, I crave to do all of that over again. It's exhausting. It's tedious at times. But it is so very worth every second of it. But it takes so. much. energy. and. commitment. And I already have someone who needs a lot of my energy, my commitment. My devotion just to her. She expects it, deserves it. Am I taking something away from her by giving some of myself to another child? I say "some" but it's really all of me. To both kids. How do I do that?
So, the debate rages on. Mostly inside my own head. And heart. Baby #2???
3 comments:
DO IT. Do it, do it, do it.
You aren't taking anything away from G. You are giving her a very big and meaningful gift, one I never got to have: a sibling.
And I just know she's going to make an AWESOME big sister. Yes.
Oh, it's so worth it. For us it was, anyway.
Yes, it's a lot of work with two. Not 2X the work, but 4X it seems! But the fun and love is also orders of magnitude higher.
One of the most precious sights is watching your oldest child give the new baby kisses.
I watch my two boys together and I just know that stopping at one would have robbed them both of something extraordinary.
Do it now before it's no longer an option!
Post a Comment