Time In A Bottle

January 2008

Sitting in the doctor's office waiting room, killing time and fighting exhaustion, John and I had a brief and disturbing conversation. I was flipping through a back issue of Parenting magazine, or maybe it was Parents, I don't know, I just know I am seriously behind in both and they are piling up on my living room table and I grabbed one to read while killing time at the doctor's office.

ANYWAY.

While flipping through this shall-remain-nameless magazine that involves parenting advise, I stumbled across an article with tips on weening your kid from their bottle. And I realized, and in a slightly panicked state yanked John's attention away from his mp3 player long enough to make him realize and share in my panic a little, that it is just about that time. Time to think about weening poor little G away from her bottle. What? YIKES.

One point made and well-taken in said article is that as much as G probably loves her bottle, I probably love it more. And that is probably true. For a while, the bottle and I, we were at odds. I wanted with all my heart to breastfeed my child. I had read up like a good little feminist on how much better breast milk is....yadda yadda, I won't go into all that here. Suffice it to say, I was not able to nurse. I have a hormonal imbalance that made it impossible. Oh, how it broke my heart, even though it was my secret fear throughout my pregnancy (this was after getting over the secret fear that I wouldn't be able to get pregnant, which, obviously, though difficult, untrue.) So, after 4 weeks of trying to nurse, G loosing weight, pumping like crazy only to get 4 oz max, I had a long heartfelt conversation with John, and I gave up, gave in, whatever. We introduced formula and never looked back. That bottle was a kind of symbol of my failed attempt to be an "all-natural" mother. But as G gained weight and thrived, I got over myself. And I guess I kind of developed an attachment to that bottle.

At one year G switched to whole milk and we started reducing the number of bottles that she drinks in a day. She has had a sippy cup for-ever that she drinks gallons of juice and water from with delight. She can drink out of a "big girl" cup (that's a regular cup to you and I) like a pro if I don't mind changing her outfit afterward. But whenever I try to sneakily give her milk in a sippy cup, or even a big girl cup, she takes a few sips, and....that's it. Milk, it's for the bottle, Mom.

Bedtime and naptime. This is our routine. We sit in the cozy rocking chair in her bedroom, she snuggles close on the boppy pillow and cuddles with her blankie, and I (or John, or my mom) give her a bottle, read a story, possibly sing a song. And she falls asleep. Or doesn't. But she relaxes and it is comforting. Routine. It's all the cultural representations of parental love and care, isn't it? What to do now?

The article advised pushing the milk in the sippy cup issue a little harder than I have been. It suggested giving her water in her bottle so that she stops associating it with milk. And it recommends doing away with the naptime bottle first, then finally tackling the bedtime bottle. All good, solid advice, I'm sure. And advice I will probably use. But that panic, it's still there. Sitting on my chest.

Here's a few of the panic inducing thoughts:

1.) How is it possible that she is nearly 18 months old already. A year and a half. A toddler. A child who is getting too big for a bottle. THAT'S what I want to "bottle" (oh, come on! you knew that pun was coming, I gave you the title!) Her babyhood. It's slipping away so fast. Everyday she is a little more grown-up, a little bigger. She is talking more, getting better at climbing/running/jumping/playing, being a kid. When she stops taking the bottle, when our routines change, she will be even that much less of a baby.

2.) How do I get her to go to sleep, now?? Bedtime, actually, is not that big of a deal. She is used to being put down still awake. She plays, talks to herself, sometimes cries a little, but all in the name of "self-soothing." And she eventually falls peacefully asleep. She does get excited after her jammies are on and she gets her blankie. She know a bottle is coming. But I think she can work through that. It's naptime that I'm so worried about. This girl does NOT willingly go down for a nap. She takes her bottle. We rock. We sing. She (hopefully) falls asleep before the bottle runs out. If not, it's a car ride. How am I ever going to get her to take a nap if I take away my not-so-secret weapon?

3.) This next one is silly, but I worry just the same: Will she ever adjust to drinking milk from a cup? She just doesn't seem to want it from a cup. But she's still so little. She needs milk, it's an important part of her diet. Do you think I should entice her with chocolate milk in a sippy cup? Will that work?

4.) I have never taken anything away from her. Not in the long-term, permanent sense. She had pacifiers when she was littler, but she was never a big fan. She would take it if given to her, but she never asked for it, never cared one way or the other. So, when I finally decided, eh, I guess she doesn't need this...no big deal, she could have cared less. Other than that, we have always been introducing new things not taking something away. So far her world has been all wide-eyed wonder and discovery. Not disappointment. Not missing something that is comforting and, well, essential. (Except Mommy and Daddy, when we're at work, I guess that counts.) I have real fear and regret that I have to get her used to the idea losing something. It seems a harsh lesson for someone so young, so new.

I know I am totally over thinking this whole thing! (I tend to do that. Hi, have you met me?) It has to happen sooner or later. 18 months seems to the generally accepted "appropriate time." I suppose I don't have to listen to all those experts, but she can't be drinking out of a bottle at 18 years old (well, not that kind of a bottle...let's not go there!) So, I have to face up to it and tackle it at some point. I just don't want to.