This Is What I Live With

Guest Post today featuring a completely random and insane email my husband composed this morning to send to The Bugle, a podcast by comedians John Oliver and Andy Zaltzman. If you don't listen to this podcast...you should. Hi. Larious. Every week, among other interesting tidbits, they read emails sent in by their listeners, an admittedly odd bunch.

Dear boys,
I am sending this note off to you as fair warning that I am planning on contacting the authorities about what I believe is your terrible secret. I recently re-watched John's stand up special and took closer note to one of the things he said. John said he spent 2 years on another planet, which most of the audience took as a joke. However, I also went back and listened to #64 Appendage, at which time death threats were still being sent in. But, after his "hiatus", there were no more death threats. I believe John is using those who have threatened him as pawns for the alien race to experiment with, as part of the contract he made during those 2 years. John, while you may feel justified in sending those who threaten you to the agony of the alien's probes, it is downright mean spirited and petty. And Andy, you are equally as evil as John for those God awful puns you subject us to every week. Please, have mercy. I realize the likelihood of my surviving this unmolested is equal to cricket becoming the national pastime of the United States and taught to all of our school children from the age of 1.47 years on. Move on Andy, I'm not going to Warne* you again. Good times.

Comments on the subject matter may be directed to my husband, John. He's the crazy one. Words of sympathy and support may be sent directly to me...his long-suffering and loving wife.

* Editor's note: Shane Warne is a renowned cricket player. No one but Andy Zaltzman would get this reference.